You Only Live Twice (1967)
Synopsis
Bond goes to Japan to investigate the mysterious disappearances of both US and Soviet spacecraft as the nations blame each other and the Cold War ramps up. While there, he catches up with an old nemesis but also finds time to have a traditional Japanese wedding and fly a baby helicopter called Little Nellie.
Particulars
Director: Lewis Gilbert
Writer/s: Roald Dahl (yes, Roald Dahl)
Producers: Harry Saltzman & Albert R. “Cubby” Broccoli
Stars: Sean Connery as James Bond, Akiko Wakabayashi as Aki, Tetsurō Tamba as Tiger Tanaka, Mie Hama as Kissy Suzuki, Charles Gray as Dikko Henderson, Donald Pleasence as Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Bernard Lee as M, Desmond Llewelyn as Q and Lois Maxwell as Moneypenny
Budget: $9.5 million
Shot: Toho Studios and on location in Japan
Based (very loosely) on: You Only Live Twice, the 12th book in Ian Fleming’s James Bond series (and the third in the ‘Blofeld trilogy’ after Thunderball and On Her Majesty’s Secret Service)
A weird little bottle episode
I consider You Only Live Twice to be a Bond holiday special and a genuine time capsule that requires a disclaimer upfront.
The bulk of it is set in Japan and it’s just Bond and his new mates (some of whom are ninjas, lol) trying to figure out who’s playing Grand Theft Spacecraft against two warring nations. It’s a bit of a weird bottle film in the franchise but (and this ‘but’ covers its many poorly aged elements) I kinda liked it. Here’s why.
A proper Bond fake out death
The film opens with Bond getting shot to shit in a staged bedroom-based death scene and maybe I’m a bit easily pleased but I thought it was smashingly well done. I even gasped! I also appreciated the maritime funeral and very camp underwater body retrieval to reveal that MI6 has ‘killed off’ Bond to get SPECTRE off his back. Not sure how long that’ll last.
It makes more sense than Thunderball
And it’s more lively than Dr. No. Does it reach the heights of From Russia with Love and Goldfinger? Hell no. But at least there’s a nugget of intrigue to the plot (even if we can guess the answer to “who’s eating the spacecraft?”).
Good song, even if it took a lot of effort
Would Robbie Williams sample a bad song? No way! And that’s my proof that Nancy Sinatra’s Bond song is a classic. Apparently she was shitting bricks in the recording booth and John Barry reckons they had to use 25 different takes in the final song. If that’s the case, fab mixing, sir. I also think Maurice Binder does a wonderful job with the volcano-y opening titles sequence — the imagery fits the music perfectly.
It’s (unintentionally? intentionally?) hilarious
Little Nellie, the mini helicopter, is just so silly and cute! There’s a nice stop motion sequence of her being built that I really liked. There’s also Bond touring a Ninja Training School but it’s just a bunch of guys in karate gear learning to shoot guns. And the film touches on Bond’s quips being lost in translation, culminating in my favourite clanger: “Do you live here alone?” asks Bond. “Yes, my parents are dead,” says his new fake bride.
But you can have too much of a good thing and You Only Live Twice often goes too far with the frivolities.
Bond-san
Oh no. Oh, oh no! Bond’s Miss Congeniality-style Japanese transformation is a product of classic 60s ‘not knowing any better’ and not only is it culturally rough, it makes him look SO unattractive. If Thunderball was the start of the end of our crush on Connery, You Only Live Twice is the nail in the coffin.
A bumbling Blofeld
I haven’t researched if this take is hot or in line with consensus but I really don’t like Donald Pleasence as Ernst Stavro Blofeld. He’s SO arch and SO Dr. Evil and the clone stuff is just opening a Pandora’s box of Bond shitness. Some of Pleasence’s line reads are in such a high register that it’s the stuff of parodies. And speaking of…
Austin Powers bait
This is clearly the source of truth for much of what ends up in Austin Powers, from the speculum-shaped rockets that eat other spacecraft, to the underground lair, to Blofeld emptying disappointing colleagues into a piranha pool. It made me realise how little Mike Meyers and co had to try.
As far as Bond films go, this is a strange one for Connery to have gone out on (the first time). I can see people completely forgetting about You Only Live Twice but to me, it’s still more memorable and straightforward than Thunderball, even if it aged worse.
RANKING CATEGORIES (70%)
Bond execution = 6
Villain = 6
Bond girl(s) = 5
Song = 7
Opening titles = 7
Plot/action/gadgets = 7
Franchise identity = 5
PERSONAL ENJOYMENT (30%)
6/10